


Hardly There

by Dreamwalker44



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: F/M, Fluff but it's Angst, Game Slaves held for ransom at some point, Gaz... she's just tired of it all, Hey... I tried, If You Squint - Freeform, Implied Relationships, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, POV First Person, Some violence if you'll have some, Yet she's the first one to fall... oof, slightly edited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23156479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamwalker44/pseuds/Dreamwalker44
Summary: A nightly stroll revealing memories of a chase, a pursuit in the city, and a fight that would later become a battle neither side could win. Gaz finds herself lost in thought as she thinks about that annoying green alien who refused to leave her be.
Relationships: Gaz/Zim (Invader Zim), Z a G r
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	Hardly There

**Hardly There**

**.**

**.**

**.**

Night always gave me a good feeling. It was dark, quiet and... well, that was probably it. I didn't quite feel a super giddy feeling like.... 'euphoria' or anything, just a calm, easy feeling when I knew the day was reaching its end. And for this reason, without much of a surprise, I found myself venturing the city's graveyard whenever the sun sets.

Yep... went to the old bone cemetery. The best time to visit was always when the moon was up (don't question it, it just is).

Anyway, I made may way past the sleek gates and towering mausoleums to sit on an old (broken) tomb I found on a curb farthest away from the rest.

I looked around me.

There was practically no one. I was completely alone (save for the few cats that hunted rats and mice, and the owls perched up on dead trees, I guess...)

So great. It's just how I like it. This peace and quiet. Being the only person around...

It could make you forget about things...

School.... work.... problems....

_The worst mistake of your life...._

Yeah.... those things...

~~_god why did i do that? **why** did i fucking **do** that???_ ~~

.....

Sighing contently (because I'm clearly alright and never better), I checked my watch to see that it was only 8 pm, quite too early actually. My brother usually calls me no later than ten to see if I'm alright or something. I had plenty of time.

Besides, Dib often left me alone so long as I don't get myself into trouble (but seriously, when have I _not_ asked for a little action here and there?)

After I got tired just sitting there on the cemented box, I got up to trek the nearby hill where more bodies of the dead were put to their final resting place. The sight before me reminded me of my favorite game, what with the dark blue sky, solemn looking gravestones, gloomy trees, etc. Yep, it was all there.

Blinking, I quickly placed my hand where my pocket should be to feel for my game console (slash prized possession, slash sacred item).

It's there... Good.

...

I've developed this... 'reflex' for some time now. And not after that 'incident' did I start checking constantly that it was thereㅡ safe and sound.

...

... all this was that alien's fault, by the way.

**And, well, I _sure_ do want to punch him for it.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

_"That thing_..."

_I looked up and saw the green alien my brother often fought with talking to me. I usually ignored the being, not really interested in his insane outbursts or weird experiments because they weren't much of a threat to begin with. Everything he did was more like a joke, really._

_I raised my eyebrow at what he said, waiting for him to continue but noticed he was just looking at the thing on my hands_ , _my Game Slave._

_"What is it?" He asks._

_I didn't answer immediately, choosing to look at his strange expression instead._

_He looked ever curious (even with the horrible disguise on), just how being a dumb alien should be, I assumed._

_But still... this was weird... coming from him._

_I swear he'd never go out of his way to... 'approach me._ '

_Something's up. The freak's planning something._

( _Something stupid. I'm sure of it._ )

_I sigh._

_"It's my game." I finally replied_ , _just wanting the confrontation to be over._

_I didn't seem to get what I wanted that day. The freak was actually insane enough to just stand there, his blood red eyes glued on watching me finish the game._

_It sucked but at least his presence didn't hinder me from winning the final round._

_Satisfied, I chuck my game slave in my pocket, hopping down from my seat. I left the campus without batting an eye to the alien who remained surprisingly quiet all that time._

_I didn't pay much mind to it then...._

_And..... I probably should've....._

**_Crap._ **

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

The moon was full tonight. I saw the cratered light ball up in the sky and continued to stare at it while bats flew lapses in the lighted darkness. My trek ended as I stood near the edge of the hill to stare down at the sight below.

What I saw was a view of the city, all annoyingly bright and boring.

I pretty much hated this city. _So_ _much so that it makes me.... sick._

_...._

But this sense of hatred I feel for the metropolis would never surpass my contempt for the people who live in it.

 _They'll never learn to be useful..._ I tell myself.

Sometimes I just wonder why'd they even bother to live, survive even.

_They're just foolish humans..._

_Just so different from me and my brother._

_They're just.... so...._

**_Waitㅡ_ **

_That sounded a lot like Zim._

_eww..._

I shake out these stupid thoughts.

I shouldn't bother to even think about _him..._ the rest of **_them_** even.

What do _they_ know about living?

It was pointless from the start.

I sigh.

Pointless and Stupid.

That about summarizes everything.

I take one last look at the city, my scowl never fading.

And then I leave, my mood never better.

"Good riddance."

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

_"Good riddance!"_

**_grrrrr..._ **

_His stupid voice was exceptionally loud today._

_I couldn't read my book because of it so I let out more sounds of frustration as I put down the paperback on the bench. But it appears he wasn't talking to me at all. His face was turned elsewhere, crunched down as he conversed with his wrist device._

_His presence was annoying as ever, but I knew I should be more concerned with why he was here._

_Why he was following me._

_"Can't you be somewhere else? I'm trying to read here."_

_He turns, surprised as he meets my gaze._

_"Dib-sibling..." His face looked like I caught him doing something illegal... (which wouldn't be much of a surprise, really). "I did not know you were there. Zim could have sworn he was alone."_

_"Shut up." I shooed him with my hand. "Go find another bench to spout your nonsense. You're giving me a headache."_

_He gives out another curious look, coming down from his seat to stand right in front of me._

_"You don't have your..." He pauses, an amused look plastered on that green face of his. " **Game** with you today, human?"_

_I didn't respond._

_He didn't either._

_He just smirks at me and of course I give him a death glare._

_I stood up, left the bench in the park with the weird alien and his weird questions._

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

When it was night, I could roam around this stinking city too (it really stinked, not gonna lie).

I still had an hour left before my 'curfew' so I figured I should go buy myself a treat.

A solemn looking convenience store catches my eye.

It looked pretty run down. The lights outside were blinking and I could see random posters and stickers littering its walls. The street it was on looked deserted and from where I stood, I could hear faint grunge music playing inside.

Perfect.

I cross the street and made my way towards the gloomy store.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

_"Wait!"_

_I stopped walking._

_It seemed the green idiot followed me down the park._

_Great._

_"What do you want, **Zim**?" I spat, clearly losing my patience over him._

_"Filthy human, you left **this** lying around." _ _He grabs something from his PAK and hands it to me._

_It's a Game Slave._

_I blink a few times._

_"Zim is amused how forgetful you humans can be, even as to leave behind the thing most precious to you." He smirks then lets out a laugh. "Now, be thankful I rescued your pitiful device, stinking human."_

_My glare didn't waver. I knew he was lying._

_My Game Slave was safe away in my room, I made sure of that._

_This jerk..._

_"I didn't forget to leave anything behind, **Zim**. What are you even trying to pull with this lame excuse?" I throw the stupid thing at him, hitting him squarely on the head. _ _Zim lets out a shout as the fake device breaks in two. It dropped on the pavement between us, some pink goo spilling out._

_"NOOOO!" He kneels and tries to scoop up the disgusting liquid. I just stand back, not sure what to make up of the situation. "NOT MY EAR PARASITE! ZIM WORKED SO HARD TO SET THIS PLAN INTO MOTION!!!"_

_I grind my teeth._

_" **Ear parasite?!** " _

_What was he trying to do? Use me for one of his lame experiments???_

_My fist was all too ready to collide with his face now. I ran towards him, ready to initiate a (super) hard blow when he looks up a fraction of a second and leaps away._

_Lucky bastard._

_He landed a few feet, backing away from me as he held my gaze._

_My eyes revealed a dark murderous intent that he should be all to familiar with by now._

_Yeah, I'll make him pay. I'll make him remember the day he messed with Dib's scary sister._

_He gulps and takes a careful step back, knocking down a trashcan in the process. The sound of it crashing on the pavement caused him to flinch and I was ready to finally close in on him._

_Zim then turns and makes a run for his life, his retreating figure only a blur in the street._

_Still such a lucky bastard._

_But I laughed._

_Because **this**_ _should be oh so fun._

_**The game is set, and our chase begins.** _

**_._ **

**_._ **

**_._ **

**_._ **

**_._ **

_'Ring'_

As I entered the convenience store, I was pleasantly greeted by the slow ancient rock music playing in the background. I didn't recognize the artist but was just contented on hearing the steady beat reach to a low tune. Sweet. This store was exactly the kind of place Dib would deem 'haunted' or 'infested by horrible rat people'.

But whatever.

It made me at least feel more at ease compared to my time in the cemetery.

Here, I could actually find some semblance of peace among random, cheap merchandise.

I glanced around to find out I wasn't alone in this cool joint.

There was of course a shop clerk who looked way too tired to work even as early into the night as it was. He was slowly chewing gum as his hands cupped his greasy tired face on the counter. I had no way of knowing what his problem was so I walked on ahead.

I then noticed the two other customers in the store.

One was a tall guy with a trench coat hogging up the Brain Freezy machine*. He looked pretty happy with the cherry slush so I left him alone. From where I stood I could hear him mutter " _Tuesday means U.F.O's..."_ or something.

I didn't bother thinking what he meant by that and moved on.

The other customer looked to be a woman.... or a man? I wasn't sure since the person was wearing very dark neutral clothes and their hair was short enough to be both. Either way, they were in the magazine section which I had zero interest in so I was left to venture off for snacks.

 _"Hmm... sacks..."_ I quietly hum.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

_We ran across the city._

_Past the busy streets and littered alley ways, we found ourselves in a familiar neighborhood._

_Zim was practically sprinting to his house when I caught him by the collar._

_"Got you."_

_He squirmed to my vice like grip but failed to even move my fingers an inch. By then, he knew there was no escape._

_"RELEASE ME, LITTLE GAZ! It was not what you think! I-it was only a test...YES! A TEST in which you PASSED!"_

_"Quit making excuses, Zim. I'm not stupid enough to fall for your weird schemes." I say with so much venom. "Oh, and call me little again and I'll swear I'll feed your insides to the dogs."_

_My threat only seemed to fuel his fear, my amusement as well._

_Good._

_"GAH! NOOO! You will not hurt Zim's squeedlyspooch!"_

_I raise an eye brow at that. It's been, what? Thee years? And I still couldn't understand his weird alien words._

_"I'll make you pay, Zim." My voice was low, just the right kind of menacing to prove a point. I found delight in looking at the obviously fake-brave expression he was showing._

_Honestly, this was too easy._

_"Maybe this time you'll think **twice** before you plan something stupid on me."_

_My fist was in the air, blocking the sun, as I took steady aim. My other hand held him in place, the calm before the storm._

_So close._

_I was so close in landing a hit._

_But with a swift movement, Zim was out of my grasp_ _(again, lucky bastard)._

_And I fell to the ground like a fool._

_"I FOUNDS THE CLOVAH, MASTER!" shouts a very insane robot._

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

Well...

This store was bigger than average.

Tons of shelves containing new and old merchandise were lined up in place as various stalls were put up in every corner. I took my time examining each vending machine and dispenser that had a funny name to it.

And for a second, I was tempted to try out some arcade game but decided against it since it looked like it was being devoured by rats. So eww...

I continued my search and found my way to a shelf containing random assortments of snack food.

And they were quite the assortment.

On the shelf were the normal snacks like potato chips, salted nuts, candy bars and such. But what made the whole thing pretty messed up were what I assumed to be the foreign products.

Things like _Señor Salsa_ (that says 'you'll pee fire') were put on display. And a lot of eastern food were added in the bunch too.

But looking past the gibberish writing on the packaging, something eventually caught my eye.

.

**_Wanka Haunted Gummy Bears! Taste the new ectoplasmic flavor!_ **

.

I immediately thought of my brother. He loved this stuff as a kid. Still does, actually. Which was weird considering he wasn't much of a sweet tooth to begin with, always preferring some other strange snack and yeah.... I should probably stop wasting my brain cells thinking about him right about now.....

I shrug and put the package in the basket anyway.

I leave the weird shelf in search for a snack of my own, my intent fixed on finding non-Poop branded snacks because consuming Poop Cola and Choco-poop was starting to bore me. I walk the small maze of shelves to find something of interest until I hear something else that wasn't grunge play on the decade old stereo.

.

_It's a humid night_

_The moon is getting full again_

_Somewhere there's a slight figure_ _made of paraffin_

_And someone is turning it's head_

_And someone is pulling it's leg_

_It's magic_

_._

It's some... song.

I find the tune quite solemn but relaxing, a slow rock with a female lead so I figured as much.

But the guitar sounded nice, I'd give it that.

Anyway, I walked around a little more, taking my pick on food. I was alone in the snack isle so there was no rush. In my basket were the gummy bears I'd get for Dib (apparently), a pack of root beer flavored gum, and a box of Wanka chocolate scones.

Deciding this was enough for snacks, I made my way to the beverage isle, cherry cola in mind as I listened to the melancholic song still playing aimlessly.

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_It's a restless crowd_

_The doves are flying from his sleeves_

_One girl's not so loud_

_Like a convert she believes_

_She's always been looking for wires_

_Now she knows none are required_

_It's magic_

.

.

.

.

.

_Gir._

_This stupid 'dog'..._

_The reason I was now on the ground._

_The annoying robot was standing between us, looking as 'innocent' as ever. He held a patch of grass, showing it to his master with a proud smile._

_"I gots them clovah!"_

_"Yes, yes. Very good, Gir. You've captured the filthy earth weed." He composed himself pretty fast, righting his now messy wig to cover up the antenna sticking out as he dusted his tunic-shirt-thing..._

_Zim then turns to me, anger evident in his fake pupils as he addresses his robot._

_"Now, get rid of this filthy human."_

_"Yes, mas_ —

_I get up, attempting to tackle him once more._

_But, just my luck, Zim was fast enough to fight back this time._

_I managed to pin him to the ground but he pushed and freed himself from me before I could land a hit on the face._

_"Foolish human!" He screams. I only swing my fist again as he dodges back. Left, right, sweep to the side. He's pretty good._

_"You'd think you can smite the all powerful Zim?!"_

_I get down to kick his legs. He's slow to react and he trips and falls to which I respond with a smirk._

_"You've been careless all this time. Makes my job very easy."_

_"SILENCE!"_

_He was on his feet now, positioned to fight with his gloved hands fisted and raised, just ready to counter my blows._

_The battle begins as soon as the word 'SHMICKSKINS' was heard with Gir all but throwing his dog suit in the process, landing between me and the green guy._

_Zim makes his first move, charging at me with a battle cry of his own._

_I let out a harsh laugh because honestly, I haven't had this much fun since Dib got his head stuck in the chimney last Tuesday._

_This was going to be interesting._

_._

_._

_._

_Jump. Kick. Punch. Dodge. Leap. Push. Smack. Bite... bite? Yes, bite. Hit. Punch, Block, Smack, Double Smack, Tripleㅡ_

_He manages to tackle me once but I jump up in an instant._

_I won't let him land a blow, I won't even let him pull a strand of hair from me. No, not a chance._

_I glanced to the side, already feeling the burn on my muscles, and, turns out, his stupid robot stood watch like he was watching his favorite tv show or something, with his face looking lost in the moment and then finding amusement whenever one of us got tripped by the other._

_Useless._

_A few moments passed and Zim was frustrated enough to use his PAK legs, the look on his face impatient and weary from battle. I'm surprised he even lasted this long to be honest. Might as well give the freak some credit for endurance. My muscles on the other hand were starting to ache as well._

_I leaped back before any of the metal limbs could reach me, gaining just a few distance away. The neighborhood wasn't all that spacious to begin with and so I found myself backed against a tall wooden fence._

**_Crap._ **

_"Zim has had enough of your roughhousing, **little Gaz**." He says, voice a mocking tune as his body was now elevated a few feet, slowly closing in on me._

_A real smug bastard, this guy._

_Something about him just makes my blood boil today._

_Maybe it's his arrogance.... but...._

_No._

_There's just.... something else that's been.... **weird** about him today..._

_"If you still wish to live, you will surrender to Zim and..._ _apologize."_

_I snort._

_"You wish."_

_And he grabs me with his metal limbs. Hard. And_ _I'm almost convinced **this** is what I get for staring at his stupid green face for too long._

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

I was now set with the snacks and cherry drink so I headed to the counter.

Until something else catches my eye.

There, in the farthest and dimmest corner of the store, was a mangled rack full of old key chains and trinkets.

I made my way to the rack, just eyeing the thing hanging among the dirty yet still sparkly, pink hair clips and bracelets. I held my left hand firmly on the basket as I raised to poke the thing with the other.

It's.... just another key chain with a spaceship design....

It also had a button that made it light up on the back.... so I guess.... it's not completely bland?

All I can say is that the ship was the generic kind you'd see in the Mysterious Mysteries theme song (or something) so nothing special, really. I held it for a couple of moments, realizing how it being an alien ship reminded me of the _real_ alien from school....

And I......

......

I scowled, looked at the thing again and.... just..... sighed.

I tossed the keychain in the basket and dragged my way to the counter

 _'What am I getting myself into?'_ I helplessly thought.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

_"Well, it looks like you're out of options here, Gaz-beast."_

**_This stupid alien._ **

_"I suppose you can start by apologizing now. Admit ZIM is far more superior to you earthling scum."_

**_I hate him._ **

_"Speak up, Gaz-human. You wouldn't want to keep me waiting, do you?"_

**_So much._ **

_He chooses now to try and get me to talk, squeezing the metal limbs that clung around me tighter._

_I try my best to muffle my scream, choosing instead to bite my tongue. And as soon as the taste of blood distracted me from the whole thing, I looked as him._

_He just smirks at my pained (mostly annoyed) expression but decides to loosen his hold on me._

_"Well?"_

_I spat on his face._

_The annoying green thing was getting quite close to mine, making me **very** uncomfortable, and I wan't exactly lady-like to begin with..._

_So... yeah._

_He screams in pain as I see his cheek slightly burn up._

_I smirk this time._

_But he still didn't release me._

_After a few hilarious moments of watching the alien wipe off pained tears from his eyes as he scraped off burnt skin, he finally looks at me with this weird, almost 'resigned' expression._

_And it actually throws me off for a second._

_"You're difficult." He says._

_"So are you."_

_One of his eyes twitches at that and I really couldn't stop myself from smirking._

_"YOU LIE!" He points an accusing finger at me. "ZIM is very competent! I am the embodiment of AMAZINGNESS and REFINESS! A worthy Irken soldier to which NOTHING you humans can compare to!"_

_I snort. "Look, we both know that's not true nor will it ever be true, Zim."_

_I could feel the metal limbs coil around me more as I eyed his quickly changing expression. I wondered why he looked hurt all of the sudden, then angry, then hurt again._

_Just..... what?_

_Anyway, my feet started to both numb and ache as they dangled in the air. Zim brought me close to him still, and looked like he couldn't make up his mind with something._

_Which was annoying because he wouldn't stop staring at me with those red eyes._

_"Now," I say as I held his gaze. "Let me go."_

_There was no use for a fight anymore. We were both tired, I could tell._

**_"No!"_ **

_It's a rushed response from the freak and I find myself very, **very** confused._

_"What...?"_

_"Iㅡ Zim. Said. No."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because!_ —

_He doesn't continue. Instead he just.... looks at me._

_Just **really** looks at me._

_We stare at each other in awkward silence. Me giving him a confused death glare as he looked at me.... that way_. _And honestly, I didn't think I could handle what he said next._

_"... I like this." He admits through the softest of words and I have yet to think really, really hard about the expression he just made as he said it._

_Because that face. That damn expression._

**_"What...?"_ **

.

.

.

.

.

_Wrap me up in chains_

_With the magic words you say_

_Well I can use my brain,_

_I can make my getaway_

_And I will be your volunteer_

_If you make this love disappear_

_Like magic_

.

.

.

.

.

I stepped out of the counter with the five items I purchased and while I readjusted my hold on the paper bag with one hand, I rechecked if my game was still in my pocket with the other. 

And...

_~~oh god, **No.** Fucking **No**~~ _

It seemed there was an alien hellbent on ruining my night.

I see him, the bastard.

He's right outside the parking lot, wearing that godawful jacket his robot-dog-thing found in the dump one fateful day. He thought it looked good on him. Never took off without it ever since. And he looks fucking ridiculous just standing there, trying to make himself blend in like he's Danny freaking Zuko picking up Sandy Olsson for a ride.

Ridiculous.

I shake my head, glaring beyond the foggy glass doors of the store.

No.

Just **no**...

I can't get one fucking break from school and now **this?**

I storm through the exit, making a beeline straight for home. If I noticed the red eyes that were staring straight through my retreating form, I didn't say a word. I just kept on walking.

.

.

.

.

_Of course._

Of course I hear the clacking boots behind me, and of _course_ I hear the hushed alien words being cursed whenever I take a random turn.

He never did learn how to let things go, even the smallest things he wouldn't. And now he's here, probably out for revenge or..... for answers.

 _~~All because of **one** stupid mistake~~ _ ~~~~

~~_I sure hope it's for revenge_ ~~ _..._

"Human."

I don't respond, I kept on walking.

"Zim wantsㅡ No, ㅡ **_D_** _ **emands**_ —

I take another turn, his pace goes faster. So does mine.

_"Gaz!"_

...

deep breaths...

stop...

turn around...

I did and I see him standing not ten feet away. His face was ever distorted into a wild, almost puzzled expression. He looked so lost like that.

In fact, we were both lost... just two kids all alone in the empty street.

"I need to go home, Zim. Just.... give it a rest already."

 ~~_oh god_ ~~ _..._

" **Not** until you tell me why you...."

 ~~_this was it_ ~~ _..._

 _"Why **y**_ **_ouㅡ_ **

"Why I kissed you?"

" _YES!_ Tell Zim why you have initiated such _**vile**_ acts of the sort! _Zim demands **answers** , filthy human!"_

He heads straight for me then, now at arms reach. My scowl never fades as he looks at me through a piercing gaze. I didn't flinch.

"I want my answers _**now**_ , human."

I look directly at him, amber meeting red.

"You know, I really hoped you would get the picture by now. So like I said before, it didn't mean anything." My hands were clenching the bag to my chest. It was getting harder to look at him so I broke the eye contact, choosing elsewhere but to look at the emotionally unstable alien.

I just wanted to get away from this, get away from _him_ as soon as possible.

It's a weak move but seriously, I wasn't ready for this... I don't think I'll ever be, really.....

But still, I had to do something.

Just for things to get back to the way they used to.

I take a deep breath.

And swallowed hard.

"Let's stop this." I finally say as I paused, thinking back to what's been happening, what I've _let_ happen.

~~_I'm such an idiot_ ~~

...

"It's pointless."

Pointless and stupid...

But Zim doesn't seem to think otherwise.

He's silent for a while until he finds his voice again. Just barely a whisper now.

"You don't know that." He says through an almost unrecognizable voice, almost like a last attempt to change my mind.

But I didn't waver.

'cause I never saw it his way.

"You don't either." I say. "None of us do."

He was about to retort to that but I stopped him right there.

" _I_ don't like this, Zim. I don't like this _'thing'_ you and I are waltzing ourselves into. I _hate_ it. It's... it's making a mess of everything. And honestly, I'm just tired trying to make sense of it." I take a deep breath. "Don't you see? I _hate_ you. I'm supposed to _hate_ you. Not just your schemes, or your plots to annoy me and Dib, heck, not even your 'plans' to enslave mankind. No. I _fucking hate **you**_."

A chilly autumn wind blows past us in the silence that followed and there is still no sign of life but just the two of us.

"Ever since that day you tried to pull that stupid stunt on me, you've been so invested in trying to gain something you can't possibly control. And it's just _sad_."

I paused and looked at his eyes.

I see it....

That look again...

_just... **why**....?_

~~_He's not supposed to look at me that way._ ~~

"Nothing good will ever come out of this. Trust me." I say, sounding like a broken record by now. "No matter how much 'amusement' you think you're getting out of this, there was none to begin with. Not for me. This'll all get old too soon, too fast— **just p** **ointless**."

And he cuts me off.

"Liar." He says.

And I scowl even more.

_...what?_

But he goes on talking, seeming to gain some courage to fight me.

This bastard.

"Who are you to have me believe that our time together would all be in vain?"

He braves a closer step to me, I stand my ground.

"To have me believe that **you** , yourself did not find 'amusement' in our fights, our banter, you've invested in as much as I did?"

He's approaching me like how a snake would slither towards its victim, purposely driving me on edge.

"You are a liar when you say you hated every win, every victory with **me** at your mercy. So tell me human, did you _really_ think I wouldn't notice the sudden fondness you feel over Zim?"

"That Zim would ignore-- would simply _forget--_ our shared kiss _you_ purposefully initiated after my own proclamation of 'fondness' over **you** , a pitiful **human**?"

He closes the distance with just a few more steps and whispered his next words in front of me. 

"Who are you..." he says oh so softly, that I'm sure he was saying this more to himself. "To have me believe that all that, even unto this moment, would all be for nothing?"

....

........

............

And I laughed.

I laughed so fucking hard it hurt.

I crack one eye open only to see that familiar scowl aimed towards me.

It doesn't last because I see him laughing along too.

This... all of this was just plain ridiculous. _It's fucking hilarious._

It was a few more moments when the bubbling, almost crazy chortling finally died down, and I see him looking at me almost too expectantly. Those red eyes were giving me that look....

I shake my head.

"Fondness? Really?"

"What else was Zim supposed to call it?!"

"I don't know, a sickening feeling? Plain disgust? Dysentry?"

"Gah! You dare insult my words of _complement_ , filthy human?! All I do is open these words of _disgusting_ emotion like _you_ did and then you repay me with... with— 

"With this," I answered, finally closing the distance between us.

And I'm kissing him again because I have no good life choices.

.... crap.

I might just regret this... but that look of utter surprise on his stupid green face..... it might just be worth it all.

 _ ~~but it's still wrong~~_..

He leans into me, gliding his hands along my hair. My grip on his jacket tightens and the kiss deepens.

_~~I'm such an idiot~~ _

_~~Falling for someone like this~~ _

_~~Idiot~~ _

I can feel him shift when I suddenly let go, panting as I breathed for air. The moment is over, I broke it off before anything else happened.

....

I frowned.

He was silent.

But I see his red eyes look at me in the way he does.

I never knew what to call it....

"Gaz-human?"

I just breathe, mirroring the look of confusion on his face.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

_No... no, no, **no.** This is all wrong.... I **know** it is.... I'm an idiot, a fucking idiot..._

_....._

And he's still looking at me....

I say nothing as I looked up.

Above us was a flickering lamp light, which I presumed, if alive, would probably feel very awkward right now. And further up the thing and the resting buildings, was the night sky and the moon.

Through all this, it feels as if we were in the confines of space itself, surrounded by the blanket of darkness and its never ending stars.

In our own secret world, never to part.

But...

However romantic that may sound, it's not.

After all, this wasn't a love story with pure, happy endings.

This was just a story.

A story about two beings wondering what lies ahead if they remained with the other.

They wondered what to do, what to say.

To hide, to flee.

Leave or stay.

One says "Abandon, forget."

The other, "Pursue, remember."

That night, I left him, unable to answer or retort to his claims.

Mere claims, I presumed, so I avoided to talk to him again...

But in time, I grew doubtful, confused.

He was no longer around to bug me, he gave me the distance I so badly wanted but I still thought of him. I thought how he would've reacted to one thing, how he would've said something, do anything.

Yet found him nowhere.

Silent as the moon that night.

I was alone.

Just as I liked it.

But in time, I found myself wondering.

.

.

.

.

.

_"What if I chose to stay?"_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_"Would it have been different?"_

_._

_._

_._

_"Better?"_

_._

_._

_"Happy?"_

_._

_._

_._

_._

* * *

_**The End** _

* * *

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**Author's Note:**

> \-- *You guessed it. The BrainFreezy guy is a Nny cameo  
> \-- And yes, I have rewritten this old fic instead of writing RuInS (I'm a mess, I know)  
> \-- Also, the song is Kelly Hogan's 'Blue Magic' from Adventure Time (click [_here_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqqeP3_-7-U) to give it a listen =)


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